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“A small test like this could provide some insight into whether or not they're open to you pushing their buttons.” “Look them right in the eye and smile as you place it between your lips,” GoAskAlex says. One example might be to playfully reach across the table at dinner and take something off of their plate. GoAskAlex suggests playfully inserting domination into low-risk scenarios to see how it feels. If you’re just trying to feel out the situation though, pay attention to their body language and physical cues during everyday situations. Healthy communication is vital to all relationships, so make sure you’re regularly checking in with your partner to create a safe space in which they feel comfortable sharing their wants, desires, and needs with you. The only way to know if your partner wants to be dominated is if they explicitly tell you. “ can be something completely different from their day-to-day life where they may be expected to take charge and make all of the decisions,” says sexual expert and performer GoAskAlex.Īnd adult star and director Misha Montana says it “provides an escape” for some people since it’s “so opposite of what is demanded of them in their personal lives.” How do you know if your partner wants to be dominated? It could also be because someone is never submissive in their normal, everyday life. Sparks adds: “ Kink and BDSM may seem super extreme or even intimidating, but it’s a really fun way to play with a partner to add more diversity into your sex life,” Lilly explains. “It’s called power play for a reason-it can be fun to exert your power and make your partner do whatever you want.” “It can be fun to explore a side of yourself that you don’t usually show, and sex is a great way to start,” says founder and CEO of Afterglow Lilly Sparks. Just a Bunch of BDSM Movies to Stream Right Now Why would someone want to be dominated?įor one thing, it could be a way to have more exciting sex. So to help, we’ve rounded up the best tips for anyone who wants to dominate in a consensual, tactical, and enjoyable way. Sometimes the control the dominant exhibits is physical, sometimes it’s sexual, sometimes it's financial, and sometimes it’s just mental.Īll this means that, hi, yup, there’s a whole lot to know about being a dominant. So to dominate someone, you’re not only leading the sexual action (or “scene”), but there’s also a power dynamic you’re working with too. “A top is simply someone who leads or guides the scene, and the bottom is there to receive the experience,” says Rogue who previously told Cosmopolitan.
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In fact, Mistress Rogue, a professional dominatrix and the headmistress of The Dom House says that “topping” and “dominating” are actually pretty different. For one thing, while the dominant person may be considered a “top” and the submissive person may be considered the “bottom,” this actually isn’t entirely true.
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Before we get into how to be dominant though, let’s talk about the different dynamics.